This can be a tough time of year. Less light, increased "demands" of the holidays. For me, its a time when I want to go in (as one can see), yet the rhythm of the culture (Petri dish :) in which I live groans on. Electric lights, forced air heat, and the belief that "time" is real - and the clock tells me when to go and how fast.
As always, I value authentic connection with what is alive, and this time of year I long for it. How to do that in this life I lead?
Practice helps, even if it's not cathartic in the moment, or at all. Today's practice was gentle hip openers, gentle breathing, with gentle music. Ahhh....
Yesterday's practice was to be present in NVC Practice group. NVC is about learning to see things without judgment, to notice how I feel, and connect with what needs of mine are giving rise to those feelings. Others don't cause my feelings - my (met or unmet) needs do. From there, I can experience a deeper connection with myself. And from there see what I can request from myself or others in order to meet my needs (these are strategies to meet he needs). For example, during December, I am feeling overwhelmed and needing support, ease, space, and rest. Strategies to meet these needs might be a nightly bubble bath, reducing my commitments, making double sure I get to yoga class, or any or all of these. I might request that my family take on the responsibility of taking our dog Theo out in the evening for December, to help meet my needs for support, ease, space, and rest, I don't "need" them to take him out, though - it is a strategy to meet those underlying needs. I could also commit to doing it by 7 pm, or plan to leavethe back door open or see if someone would be willing to do it for hire.... This kind of thinking really opens things up. And takes pressure of the ol' fandamily.
The "other" side of NVC is to listen for how another is seeing things, and the related feelings, needs, and requests.
NVC is a really powerful practice - one that cultivates compassion for oneself and others, That's why it's called nonviolent (or compassionate) communication.
I didn't learn how to do this in the culture I grew up in. Instead I learned to judge, analyze and evaluate, to feel some feelings (maybe) and then think someone else caused them. Needs...? What...? And make demands, or live without. And, that, my friends, leads to anger, depression, or both. Unmet needs.
I'm learning now.
Sometimes people call NVC consciousness "giraffe," and the other "jackal."
Which brings me to Santa Claus. Isn't it interesting how Santa is set up to be the guy that brings you stuff -to meet your needs? And it's OK to ask - and I mean specifically - and I'm not even a Christian? It's not like I can do that with anyone else - I can just imagine making a detailed list and handing it out to all my friends and family - or even one - that would NOT go over well! How come we get to do that with Santa?
Here's the part where I link Santa, magic mushrooms and NVC - ready?
Santa is a metaphor for Amanita muscaria. Google that on the web and find beaucoup de interesting info and commentary. These mushrooms - the fabled toadstool or "fly agaric" are linked with pine, fir, and birch trees, grow in the mountains, where reindeer live (and eat them, get high, and frolic around) and humans, too.
The way our bodies metabolize them, we will get some nausea and vomiting first, then have an experience that might be described (by me - from descriptions I've read, and not from personal experiece) as a deeply connecting experience. (Will the real hallucinatory experience please stand up?) These are possibly the spiritually enlightening Soma of the Vedas.
These mushrooms can be toxic, yet the active properties are still present in urine. So - a shaman who knows how to handle it may ingest the plant, metabolize the poison, then pass it to everyone else "secondarily" (well, you get the idea...)
Santa, in his red and white suit, hanging out with reindeer and flying around - is our shaman. He can metabolize the toxins of our jackal way of seeing, help us connect, and to request what we want. Santa is us!
Could be better than Prozac. Or ingesting the mushrooms. No need. Learn to hear the jackals, transform/translate them to giraffe. Connect. Can it be done? I'm working on it every day, aiming for radical acceptance of myself and others. And finding wholeness (purna), at the core, the cthonic soil out of which compassion springs.
A last note (pardon the pun...). I am well familiar with the part where Santa makes a list of good and bad little boys and girls who do or don't "deserve" gifts. I think this was a later jackal cultural overlay to who Santa really is. So I've written a little song as an offering to reframe the (w)hol(e)idays:
What if Santa were a Giraffe? A lump of coal to fuel the fires of understanding..
[Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town"]
It's OK to cry when you express what's alive,
And even to shout trying to get it all out.
Santa wants to hear your request.
He's listening loud for what's alive in you,
He'll even check twice if his understanding's askew.
Santa wants to hear your request.
You can let him know you're sleepy
And needing some deep rest
And please take the time to tell him
What will meet your need the best!
So, cry if you will, laugh and sing if you must,
Just remember to ask because you can trust
Santa wants to hear your, Santa wants to hear your, Santa wants to hear your request!
And even to shout trying to get it all out.
Santa wants to hear your request.
He's listening loud for what's alive in you,
He'll even check twice if his understanding's askew.
Santa wants to hear your request.
You can let him know you're sleepy
And needing some deep rest
And please take the time to tell him
What will meet your need the best!
So, cry if you will, laugh and sing if you must,
Just remember to ask because you can trust
Santa wants to hear your, Santa wants to hear your, Santa wants to hear your request!
Bright Blessings to All and to All a Perfect Night!
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