Yesterday's practice was showing up for conversation with my friend and empathy buddy, Jo. We're coming up on a year of doing this being together for an hour (or two) to see what's alive in each other. For me, one of the beautiful things about this practice is that it reveals the waves and rhythms of our lives, I think because our time together is simply regular, and not tied to events in our lives (though we do make "emergency empathy" calls sometimes, too).
And speaking of emergencies, I am so grateful to have been stepping deliberately and firmly through this 27 day practice, even as the holiday practice(s) of others swirl around me. Focusing on my practice is cultivating a sense of clarity, and blessed relief from worrying about, or reacting to Christmas. I see it there, but it doesn't have a"hold" on me as it has before. Did I mention Blessed Relief?
After an argument with Joe Monday night about holiday planning, I felt sad because I had treated my beloved in a way I did not like. (I don't think he did either....) I dove deeper and discovered that I was wanting to get all this stuff planned and done, so I could be present and rested, to really experience this 27 day practice, and our gathering with friends on Solstice. So that's why I was yelling at my husband - so I could connect!
I decided that my "to do" list was not as important as my "to be" list.
That's when I dove into poetry and music and began creating in this sort of urgent, yet peaceful way. A creative explosion spawned multiple blog drafts (which are now finally getting posted). I've been sharing Pablo Neruda poetry with students at school (aligned [enough] with our academic standards, of course ;). And included it in Solstice yoga practice with friends, as well as for my theme for Solstice yoga class. And it all relates. It's a interwoven.
This is an emergence/emergency I welcome with open arms.
And I'm loving the space for community that is growing. Tina and I planned and co created our Solstice Eve practice, and as we practiced with Tiffany, it morphed again. And again later in the afternoon as I led the class I "teach." And on Solstice, it looks to be standing room only for our celebration. (UMMM, tiny worry thought leaking in - will I/we be ready?)
There's that pulsation (spanda) of Shakti again! Sometimes things seem all in pieces, and sometimes seem inextricably connected. Because they are. Both. And it's dynamic.
Heneni. I am here. In life I can show up. It's a choice. I think about how I heard once that legislators sometimes put a heavy binder on the "yes" (or "no") button so their presence/votes will be counted, but they don't actually have to be there. (Where do they go? What is more important?) I don't want my presence to be like that. Some cardboard cut out with the face of whatever I've decided ahead of time.
An emergency is a process. Something is happening. Let's see what it is....
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